Command

$ npx news cosmic-fireball-anomaly --verbose --debug

Output

INFO: Fetching data for `SPT2349-56`...
INFO: Cluster ID: `SPT2349-56`
INFO: Age: ~12 billion years (status: BABYGALAXY.js)
INFO: Universe Age: ~13.8 billion years

WARN: Initiating thermal scan...
ERROR: THERMAL_READOUT_CRITICAL: Temperature detected > Surface of Sun
ERROR: Expected `temp_young_cluster_cool` from `cosmic_model_v1.2.0.js`
ERROR: Received `temp_young_cluster_SURFACE_OF_SUN`

"It was a pretty unexpected discovery, so we couldn't believe our detection was real,"

-- Dazhi Zhou, Lead Dev (presumably)

DEBUG: `delta_temp`: +UNEXPECTED_HIGH (This isn't just a bug, it's a feature we didn't ask for.)
DEBUG: Data integrity check failed for cosmic constants. Recalibrating reality...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| ALERT: `GRAVITATIONAL_CONSTANTS` MAY BE RECALIBRATED. PLEASE SECURE ALL LOOSE SOLAR SYSTEMS.                                  |--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- a/universe/galaxy_formation/cluster_theory.js+++ b/universe/galaxy_formation/cluster_theory.js@@ -10,3 +10,3 @@function predictYoungClusterTemp() {-  return 'relatively_cool'; // Based on v1.2.0+  return 'UNPREDICTABLY_HOT_LIKE_A_STAR'; // Based on SPT2349-56 data}

Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

ERROR in `universe/galaxy_formation/cluster_logic.c`: `Segmentation fault (core dumped)`
Stack trace (most recent call first):
  1. `at GalaxyCluster.init (cosmic_factory.js:L128:C22)`
  2. `at Universe.bootstrap (universe_bootloader.sh:L12:C1)`
  3. `at Object.<anonymous> (big_bang_event.js:L1:C1)`

What went wrong? Apparently, the GalaxyCluster.init method in our cosmic_factory.js was expecting a nice, chill young cluster. Instead, it got a supernova wannabe. This "hot baby" scenario was not accounted for in any known cosmic_model.json schema.

We're looking at a fundamental logic error in the universe_bootloader.sh script, potentially an unhandled exception for THERMAL_OVERLOAD_EVENT.

Panic! It appears the universe’s error handling for early-stage thermal runaway is non-existent. We may need to recompile reality.

Patch Notes

• - FIXED: Public perception that all young galaxy clusters are "cool". They are not.
• - ADDED: New HOT_YOUNG_CLUSTER enum to cluster_state_definitions.h.
• - UPDATED: All galaxy_formation_theories.md documentation. Expect breaking changes.
• - WARN: Previous universe_simulation_v1.0 results now highly suspect.
• - DEBUG: Scientists are currently running strace universe_evolution -k SPT2349-56 to find the root cause. Results pending.
• - TODO: Determine if this is a feature or a bug. Current hypothesis: unplanned cosmic upgrade.