1. Command

$ npx news federal-agent-unhandled-exception --verbose --debug-level=max

2. Output

INFO: Initializing citizen observation process 'Alex Pretti (ICU Nurse)' in Minneapolis.INFO: Detected valid permit for open-carry firearm. STATUS: Legal.INFO: Federal agents engaged with 'Pretti' process.WARN: Unexpected process interruption. 'Pretti' subjected to physical restraint during documentation.ERROR: Critical exception in 'federal_agent_protocol.c': Lethal force applied to 'Alex Pretti'. PROCESS_TERMINATED.DEBUG: Footage analysis confirms 'Alex Pretti' was disarmed before fatal shots were fired. Initial input: cell phone. Final output: deceased.

--- DIFF: OFFICIAL_STATEMENT vs REALITY --- - OFFICIAL: "Pretti was armed and violently resisting." + REALITY: "Pretti was disarmed; observed holding cell phone, not drawing weapon." --- END DIFF ---

WARN: Department of Homeland Security invoked statement(). Its output: "Pretti was armed and was 'violently resisting' arrest."

ERROR: Stephen Miller's comment() method returned: "a domestic terrorist [who] tried to assassinate federal law enforcement."

DEBUG: Verifiable lies detected in official narratives. Discrepancy metric: 100%.

SYSTEM_ALERT: Core Democratic Process 'PublicTrust.sys' integrity check failed. Possible corruption detected.

"The footage of Pretti’s killing, shot from different angles by different bystanders, looks disturbingly similar to scenes in places like Syria and Iran — where people rising up against authoritarian regimes were silenced by baton and bullet."

3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

ERROR: UnhandledPromiseRejectionWarning: Unhandled rejection at:  -> core/federal-agent-protocol.js:L57 fatalShoot(target, reason)  -> components/threat-assessment.js:L128 isValidThreat(target) returned false  -> services/disarmament-check.js:L33 isDisarmed(target) returned true  -> controllers/incident-handler.js:L99 handleCitizenEncounter(event)  -> app.js:L15 executePolicy(incident)Caused by: Runtime Exception in 'truth_module.dll'  - Reason: 'truth_module.dll' was intentionally bypassed by 'propaganda_engine.exe'.  - Debug: Input 'Alex Pretti' was flagged as 'violently resisting' despite video evidence showing compliance and disarmament.  - Stack trace suggests critical failure in reality-validation logic.  - Segmentation fault? More like a fundamental system bypass.  - This isn't just a bug; it's a design flaw in governance.

> fatal: unable to merge 'official_statement.txt' with 'verified_footage.mov': You have a conflict in 'reality'.> fix: resolve conflicts and commit, or revert.

4. Patch Notes

• CRITICAL_BUG: Federal agents continue to misinterpret threat_level_indicator, resulting in lethal outcomes for disarmed citizens.
• NEW_FEATURE: Administration now ships with propaganda_module.v2.0, allowing for instantaneous fabrication of counter-narratives.
• DEPRECATED: The accountability.dll library has been silently removed from the public API.
• WARN: Public trust in government_processes.exe is experiencing severe integrity issues. Expect further instability.
• FIXED: Any lingering doubts about the authoritarian parallels between the US response and regimes in Syria/Iran. Now unequivocally clear.