[ARTICLE] [Saturday, December 6, 2025]
Trump Promises MRI Results Release, But Body Part Remains a Mystery
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SUMMARY
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INFO: Trump to release MRI results. Body part? Unknown. System health: 'Exceptional' (allegedly).
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DETAILS
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1. Command
$ npx news trump mri-release --focus=body_part
2. Output
INFO: [npx-news] Fetching data for 'trump mri-release'...
DEBUG: [npx-news] Parsing article content for relevant keywords.
INFO: [npx-news] Keyword 'MRI' detected. Initiating medical module.
WARN: [npx-news] White House press sec. claims 'advanced imaging' during routine physical.
DEBUG: [npx-news] Correlation found: MRI != Routine Physical. User query: 'Why advanced imaging?'
INFO: [npx-news] President Trump states: "If you want to have it released, I'll release it."
WARN: [npx-news] President Trump states: "I have no idea" on MRI body part.
DEBUG: [npx-news] Cross-referencing MRI location with 'cognitive test' data.
INFO: [npx-news] President Trump: "It wasn't the brain because I took a cognitive test and I aced it."
DEBUG: [npx-news] Result: 'Perfect' health status reported. Probability of anomaly: Low.
System Warning: Potential data inconsistency regarding the 'location' parameter. Proceeding with available information.
3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)
TypeError: Cannot read property 'getLocation' of undefined at Module._fetchMriDetails (medical_protocol.js:152:34)
at Module.processNewsItem (news_aggregator.js:78:22)
at <anonymous>
Caused by:
ReferenceError: bodyPart is not defined
at Module._fetchMriDetails (medical_protocol.js:152:18)
at Module.processNewsItem (news_aggregator.js:78:22)
4. Patch Notes
- Feature Release: Added
npx news trump mri-releasecommand. - Bug Fix: Resolved issue where MRI body part was not properly logged (system now reports "unknown").
- Documentation Update: Clarified that 'routine physical' may now include unspecified 'advanced imaging'.
- Performance Improvement: Cognitive test results are now considered a proxy for brain health, reducing redundant checks (in theory).
- Security Advisory: Users are advised that not all diagnostic procedures may be fully transparent.
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