1. Command

$ npx news presidential-address-v2-5 --verbose --blame-democrats

2. Output

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|  ╚═╝     ╚═╝     ╚═╝ ╚═╝      ╚═╝  ╚═╝ ╚═╝     ╚═╝╚══════╝╚══════╝╚═╝  ╚═╝ ╚══╝╚══╝  ╚═════╝ ╚═╝  ╚═╝                 |
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INFO: Initializing parsing sequence for presidential address...

INFO: President D. Trump (R) delivered a fiery address from the White House, asserting significant progress.

INFO: Trump declared: "Eleven months ago, I inherited a mess, and I'm fixing it." This suggests a rapid turnaround.

DEBUG: Core system diagnostic confirms 'mess' inherited, but 'fixing' process appears to involve aggressive refactoring.

INFO: Assertion received: "We had the worst trade deals ever made, and our country was laughed at from all over the world, but they're not laughing anymore."

WARN: Laughter detection module reported inconsistent results. Global sentiment index requires calibration.

INFO: President claimed: "Over the past 11 months, we have brought more positive change to Washington than any administration in American history."

WARN: Historical comparison function `compare_admin_progress()` returned `ASSERT_TOO_BROAD`. Data scope is excessively wide.

INFO: Administration presented a chart showcasing "impressive price decreases and wage increases" under current leadership.

DEBUG: Chart data reviewed. Localized positive metrics detected, but causality needs further independent verification.

ERROR: Critical blame-shifting error encountered. President explicitly stated: "Democrat politicians also set the cost of groceries. Sorry, but we are solving that too."

ERROR: Secondary blame-shifting detected: "Unaffordable Care Act" and rising health insurance premiums attributed directly to Democrats.

DEBUG: Exception caught: 'Unattributed blame on multi-factorial economic forces'. Preparing detailed incident report.

INFO: Address concluded. System returning to idle state.

3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

ERROR: UncaughtException: BlameGameLogicError at runtime.

at Government.PolicyEngine.calculateCostOfGroceries(Democrats.java:34)

at Healthcare.PremiumCalculator.determineRateIncrease(Democrats.js:189)

at PresidentialAddress.SpeechModule.executeAssertion(SpeechModule.py:72)

at Main.Kernel.runApplication(Kernel.cpp:12)

What went wrong? It appears the BlameGameLogicError was triggered during the execution of the SpeechModule. This error occurs when the system attempts to assign sole responsibility for complex economic variables, such as grocery prices and healthcare premiums, to a single political entity.

The root cause is a fundamental failure to acknowledge multi-factorial influences in the `PolicyEngine`'s blame allocation subroutine. This isn't merely a bug; it represents a critical design flaw in how economic cause-and-effect relationships are processed.

PANIC! System integrity compromised by oversimplification protocols. Reboot recommended.

4. Patch Notes

• - Fixed: Global perception of previous trade deals (status: claimed, not independently verified).
• - Added: New boolean flag: 'global_laughter_halted'. Current value: uncertain.
• - WARN: Introduced new module: 'blame_democrats_for_all_economic_woes.js'. Module is now defaulting to true regardless of input.
• - Refactor: Economic progress metrics now presented via custom, in-house generated charts, bypassing standard audit protocols.
• - DEBUG: Ongoing monitoring for reported 'unraveling in real time' and 'bizarre speech' behavioral patterns.
• - Docs: Updated "How to Fix a Mess in 11 Months" guide. Note: Implementation details are proprietary.