npx: US Admins Attempt to git checkout $50M Bounty, System Alerts Detected
SUMMARY
INFO: U.S. captures Venezuelan President. Trump and Rubio joke about $50M reward. Unilateral US administration declared. System stability: WARNING.
DETAILS
1. Command
$ npx news venezuela-maduro-bounty --debug --verbose
2. Output
[11:03:01 UTC] INFO: Initializing Operation:MADURO_CAPTURE... Target acquired.
[11:03:05 UTC] INFO: U.S. forces successfully initiated large-scale strikes on Caracas, Venezuela.
[11:03:10 UTC] INFO: Venezuelan President Nicholas Maduro (PID: 0xDEADBEEF) is now in custody. Transport to New York for trial on drug-trafficking charges is underway.
[11:03:15 UTC] WARN: Detected unauthorized access attempt on Bounty_Reward_Pool:$50M.
[11:03:16 UTC] DEBUG: At Mar-a-Lago press conference, Secretary of State Marco Rubio stated: "He is a fugitive of American justice with a $50 million reward, which I guess we saved $50 million."
[11:03:18 UTC] DEBUG: President Donald Trump followed with: "Make sure, don’t let anybody claim it! Nobody deserves it but us!"
SYSTEM_ALERT: Conflicting claims detected for Reward_ID:50M_MADURO. Potential race condition on asset distribution.
[11:03:22 UTC] ERROR: Unhandled exception: PRESIDENTIAL_DECLARE_ADMIN_OVER_SOVEREIGN_NATION.
[11:03:23 UTC] INFO: President Trump declared U.S. will run Venezuela until a power transfer can be facilitated. Deployment of American troops remains an option.
+------------------------------------+| WARNING: Geopolitical Protocol || Violation Detected. || Severity: CRITICAL || Impact: High. Unpredictable State |+------------------------------------+3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)
Error: BountyClaimLogicException: Attempted to claim bounty via self-capture. at handleRewardEligibility (reward_system.js:54:12) at processPresidentialStatement (state_management.py:128:7) at pressConferenceHandler (event_loop.c:302:5) at main (app.js:10:3)Caused by: SecurityViolation: Self-serving financial interests detected in critical path. at validateClaimant (security_policy.go:88:9) at applyRewardPolicy (reward_rules.java:210:4)What went wrong? The reward_system.js module wasn't designed for direct claims from the executing party.
Furthermore, the state_management.py attempted to unilaterally overwrite the SOVEREIGN_STATE variable without proper referendum or international protocol checks.
This led to a cascading failure, triggering GeopoliticalProtocolViolation errors and a potential Segmentation fault in the International_Law_Compliance kernel module. Essentially, the system crashed because it couldn't comprehend self-awarded bounties and nation-state reassignments on the fly.
4. Patch Notes
+ Added:Venezuelan President Nicholas Maduro to the U.S. judicial system. (Severity:CRITICAL)- Removed:Venezuela's current administrative autonomy, pending U.S. intervention. (Severity:HIGH)WARN:Potential for significant international protocol overhead due to unilateral declarations.DEBUG:Reward_ID:50M_MADUROis currently in a `pending_review` state, awaiting an ethics committee decision. No direct self-claim allowed.INFO:DOJ reward for Maduro was progressively increased: $15M (Jan 2025) -> $25M (July 2025) -> $50M (now). This process appears to be the only thing following a predictable lifecycle.