### 1. Command

$ npx news white-house-press-secretary-succession --verbose --debug

### 2. Output

INFO: Initializing session for Presidential Press Secretary Succession Monitor...

INFO: Karoline Leavitt (current White House Press Secretary, age 28) has announced a new 'child process'.

DEBUG: This 'child process' is a human baby, not a system daemon. Expected behavior? Unclear.

"My husband and I are thrilled to grow our family and can't wait to watch our son become a big brother," Leavitt stated to Fox News Digital. "My heart is overflowing with gratitude to God for the blessing of motherhood, which I truly believe is the closest thing to Heaven on Earth."

INFO: Leavitt has publicly committed to remaining in her position in the White House for the full four years.

WARN: Despite explicit statements of continuity, a high-stakes 'campaign' for her position has immediately entered a turbo-charged state within DC.

ERROR: Race condition detected! Competitors are actively 'auditioning' for a role that is not officially 'vacant'. Human political systems exhibit unpredictable pre-emption behavior.

DEBUG: Multiple current and former Trump officials were queried regarding potential replacements. The system is already compiling a candidate shortlist.

---
ALERT: Core System Instability Detected
---

WARN: Observation: Political environment does not wait for actual vacancies to begin succession planning. Efficiency or ruthless opportunism? Probably both.

### 3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

FATAL ERROR: ChildProcessInitializationException: Cannot predict human lifecycle events leading to political resource contention.


Stack trace:
    at com.wh.politics.SuccessionManager.onPregnancyAnnouncement(Event event)
    at com.dc.lobby.CandidateEvaluator.preemptivelyAssess(Role role, Event announcement)
    at com.media.leak.JournalistScoop.getAheadOfFacts(Rumor rumor)
    at java.lang.Thread.run()


What went wrong? The SuccessionManager module failed to account for a biological 'feature' (pregnancy) triggering a hard-coded succession protocol, even when the current occupant (Leavitt) indicates no intention of relinquishing the role. This indicates a severe lack of state management and dependency resolution.

Panic! Unexpected state transition: PRESS_SEC_EXPECTING state immediately triggered SUCCESSION_CAMPAIGN_ACTIVE.

### 4. Patch Notes

• - REMOVED: Any illusion that D.C. waits for actual job openings.
• - ADDED: New "child process" to Karoline Leavitt's family tree. Congratulations!
• - UPDATED: Succession Protocol (Preemptive): Now activates upon any significant personal life event of key personnel, regardless of stated intentions.
• - FIXED: The notion that job security means anything in the Capital.
• - DEBUG: Human ambition modules are running at 150% capacity. Monitor for CPU spikes.
• - WARN: Leavitt stated she will remain in her position, but the political compiler ignored this directive. Investigate compiler logic.