Command

$ npx news house-gop healthcare-plan --status urgent

Output

INFO: House Republicans drop new healthcare proposal late Friday.

WARN: Enhanced ACA tax subsidies? LOL NO.

DEBUG: Millions of Americans' premiums projected to skyrocket post-December 31st.

INFO: New plan focuses on small business insurance pools and pharmacy benefit manager reforms.

SYSTEM ALERT: Temporal anomaly detected! Congress has 4 days before holiday recess.

ERROR: Democratic Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries calls proposal "toxic" and "deeply unserious".

DEBUG: Speaker Mike Johnson insists GOP is tackling "real drivers of health care costs". Code review pending...

INFO: Trump suggests sending cash directly to people, not insurers. A bold strategy?

WARN: Abortion coverage excluded from new health plans. Gotta keep that legacy code clean, I guess.

DEBUG: Some Republicans are reportedly sweating about constituent comms. Maybe deploy a rollback?

Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

Error: Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'extend' of undefined

at HealthCareModule.handleSenateFailures (congress.js:178:25)

at Object.tryCatch (common.js:45:12)

at Object.executeLegislation (congress.js:52:10)

at Timer.runRecessLogic (system.js:99:18)

at setTimeout (native)

Caused by: Failed to merge bipartisan healthcare bill: Unexpected end of input.

Resolution: Attempting hotfix with standalone House bill. Probability of success: Low.

Segmentation fault? More like Stagnation fault.

Patch Notes

• - Feature: House GOP introduces alternative healthcare legislation.
• - Fix: ACA enhanced subsidies funding conspicuously removed.
• - Improvement: Small businesses gain ability to pool insurance resources.
• - New Requirement: Pharmacy benefit managers must now justify their existence (maybe).
• - WARN: Premium hikes for millions loom. User discretion advised.
• - DEBUG: System stability remains uncertain. Reverting to status quo seems... inefficient?