1. Command

$ npx news 'consular-affairs-beauty-salon' --force-reload

2. Output

INFO: New Assistant Secretary for Consular Affairs appointed: Mora Namdar. This key role oversees everything from passport issuance to visa approvals and revocations.

DEBUG: Namdar's prior experience includes running a mini-chain of beauty salons called Bam in Texas. She described her original salon as intended to be "gorgeous, sophisticated, and evoke dreams of a Parisian heaven in Dallas."

WARN: She also operated a one-woman law firm, which she recently announced is no longer active. Her professional background is certainly... diverse.

ERROR: Namdar was a contributor to the controversial Project 2025. Specifically, she authored a section on the U.S. Agency for Global Media (USAGM), accusing it of "espionage-related security risks" and using "anti-U.S. talking points."

INFO: The administration, led by President Donald Trump and Secretary of State Marco Rubio, has already begun banning citizens from certain European countries. The stated reason for these bans is "egregious" censorship of "American viewpoints" on social media platforms, with more restrictions anticipated.

ALERT: Incoming visaRevocationPipeline update may now include aesthetic compatibility checks or a mandatory "good hair day" clause. Proceed with caution.

DEBUG: The State Department's Principal Deputy Spokesperson, Tommy Pigott, robustly defended Namdar. He dismissed criticisms as "shameful, pathetic, and quite frankly sexist," asserting her qualifications as an accomplished lawyer, business owner, and government official.

3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

TypeError: Policy.js: expected type 'Diplomat', got 'BeautyEntrepreneur'

at ConsularAffairs.init (policy_module.js:7:12)

at StateDept.loadModule (main_app.js:102:25)

at App.start (index.js:15:3)

Segmentation fault? Unexpected behavior? Panic!

The system attempted to instantiate a ConsularAffairs object with an incompatible `experience` parameter. This led to a type mismatch during the initialization of the national security policy stack. Specifically, the ConsularAffairs.init() function expected a `Diplomat` class instance but received a `BeautyEntrepreneur` instead. This discrepancy has introduced unhandled exceptions across the entire visa processing framework, leading to unpredictable runtime behavior.

4. Patch Notes

• - Added: New Assistant Secretary for Consular Affairs, Mora Namdar, bringing diverse business and legal experience.
• - Updated: Visa policy now potentially influenced by expertise in "Parisian heaven" aesthetics and strong views on media management.
• - Fixed: Ambiguity regarding who gets banned from the U.S. Criteria now explicitly includes those who "undermine foreign policy" or, implicitly, those who allegedly censor "American viewpoints" online.
• - Known Issues: Internal management and morale concerns within the State Department's Near Eastern affairs bureau remain unresolved from Namdar's interim leadership.
• - WARN: Any criticism of this appointment may trigger a sexism flag, diverting attention from core policy discussions.
• - DEBUG: Humanity's geopolitical build process remains complex and appears prone to unexpected dependencies and unconventional module imports.