ERROR: 'Epstein Files' throws unhandled exception; Trump denies memory leak
SUMMARY
WARN: New Epstein docs drop, triggering RAPE_ALLEGATION error against President Trump. DOJ dispatches DENIAL patch. System instability detected.
DETAILS
### 1. Command
$ npx news epstein-files trump --debug
### 2. Output
INFO: Initializing news retrieval module...
INFO: Fetching latest data from 'Epstein-Files_v2025.12.24'...
WARN: Incoming data stream contains rape allegation
against President Donald Trump. Proceed with caution.
DEBUG: FBI document (EFTA00020518, Oct 2020) flagged for critical content.
ERROR: Unhandled exception detected: Redacted individual claims "he raped me" in conjunction with Jeffrey Epstein.
INFO: Accuser declined police intervention, citing fear of retaliation: "they will kill me"
.
FATAL_ERROR: Subsequent report indicates accuser found deceased with fatal head injury. Coroner's report: 'self-inflicted'. Coincidence? System questions probability.
WARN: Limo driver (interviewed 2020) recalls 'very concerning' 1995 phone call involving Trump.
DEBUG: Conversation referenced "Jeffrey" and "abusing some girl". Driver reportedly considered immediate limousine halt.
INFO: Department of Justice (DOJ) and White House swiftly issue public statement.
STATUS: Claims categorized as unfounded and false
, also untrue and sensationalist
.
DEBUG: Logic parsing: If claims lack 'shred of credibility', why not debunked pre-2025 election cycle? Query unresolved.
INFO: President Trump dismisses controversy as political deflection from Republican success.
DEBUG: Suggests innocent parties are being unfairly implicated by old photographs.
### 3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)
CRITICAL_FAILURE: Function maintain_public_trust() aborted.
CALL STACK:
at allegation_parser.js:23:5 - process_epstein_document(EFTA00020518)
at justice_system.py:112:9 - evaluate_credibility(raw_tip)
at denial_service.php:45:1 - generate_official_statement(claim_id)
at public_perception.cpp:88:17 - update_user_interface(new_data)
at main_loop.go:7:3 - run_news_cycle()
Error Reason: DATA_INTEGRITY_COMPROMISED. Conflicting reports, unsubstantiated denials, and posthumous 'self-inflicted' verdicts create an unresolvable logical paradox. This module requires a full system reboot and robust error handling for historical data. Panic!
### 4. Patch Notes
- ADDED: More high-profile names to theEpstein Files
public dataset.- REVERTED: Previous perception ofinnocent associations
for some individuals now under review.- UPDATED: DOJ's official response algorithm for serious allegations to include keywords:unfounded and false
,untrue and sensationalist
.- FIXED_NONE: The mysterious case of the deceased accuser remains in an unresolved state.- DEPRECATED: Relying on the public's short-term memory module. Expect cache misses.- DEBUG: Public trust metrics remain highly volatile. Recommend `git blame` for political analysts.