1. Command

$ npx news donald-trump-sues-himself --amount 1B --debug-level high

2. Output

INFO: President Donald J. Trump, currently in office as of December 2025, has publicly stated his demand for a substantial payout from the Department of Justice.

DEBUG: Initial administrative claims, filed in 2023 and 2024, sought $230 million.

WARN: During a recent speech in North Carolina, the President inflated this potential sum to $1 billion.

ERROR: President Trump declared,

I am suing, and I'm the one that's supposed to settle it,

referring to administrative claims against the DOJ related to post-2021 investigations into classified documents and 2020 election efforts.

DEBUG: This self-settlement concept appears to violate basic judicial_process.js principles. It's almost like trying to merge your own pull request without a code review.

INFO: Special Prosecutor Jack Smith, post-2024 election, dropped previous cases against Trump. However, Smith confirmed to Congress that his team had "developed proof beyond a reasonable doubt" of criminal conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election. He also cited "powerful evidence" regarding the handling of classified documents.

WARN: Senator Chuck Grassley's committee released emails suggesting FBI officials had initial doubts about probable cause for the August 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid. This conflicted with the Justice Department's stance at the time.

DEBUG: The President also reiterated claims of an "illegal and disgusting" FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago, alleging the search extended to Melania Trump's personal belongings. The definition of "all the evidence" remains ambiguous.

ALERT: Potential System_Self_Referential_Loop detected. Funding source for proposed $1B payout unclear.

LOG: User input

I hereby give myself $1 billion

has been noted for future reference, possibly in the ``Fantasy_Economics.log`` file.

DIFF - original_claim: $230,000,000.00

DIFF + current_demand: $1,000,000,000.00

DEBUG: Charity_Donation_Flag oscillates between TRUE and FALSE within a single speech. This behavior suggests a potential race condition or an unhandled exception in the ``Philanthropy_Module``.

3. Stacktrace (If This News Were Code)

Traceback (most recent call last):

File "PresidentialNegotiation.py", line 42, in settle_own_lawsuit

self.defendant = self.plaintiff

File "JusticeDepartmentModule.js", line 198, in handle_claim

if claim.originator === claim.settler: raise ConflictOfInterestException()

ConflictOfInterestException: Cannot self-negotiate billion-dollar settlement with executive branch you control. This isn't how `law.py` works. The system expects a clear separation of concerns, not a recursive call to ``settle_all_the_things()``.

Segmentation fault? Unexpected behavior? Panic! The legal_framework appears to be in an unrecoverable state, possibly due to a ``recursive_self_assignment_error``.

4. Patch Notes

• Added: New self_settlement_protocol (status: UNTESTED, CRITICAL_FAILURE_POSSIBLE). This experimental feature allows for executive self-negotiation.
• Updated: Claimed damages against System.DOJ from $230M to $1B. (Release notes indicate this is a feature, not a bug, and is subject to dynamic inflation).
• Fixed: Legal probes into classified_documents and election_subversion (status: DROPPED post-election, despite evidence confirmed beyond reasonable doubt by special prosecutor Smith).
• Removed: Any semblance of standard judicial_precedent regarding conflict of interest. This functionality was deemed a legacy constraint.
• Refactored: Presidential speeches now include dynamic_value_inflation for claims and charity_pledge_toggle functionality. This allows for real-time adjustments of public statements.
• Known Issue: Human_Perception_Module continues to experience SYNTAX_ERROR when parsing executive statements. Further debugging required for clarity.